"I Was Just Snarling And Steam Was Coming Out My Ears", Yeah But....

.....Said Bexie Pollard.

When Alex left, Sylvia attempted to replace that role of bitch of the house. The only problem was that Sylvia was not as intelligent, was not no where near as malicious and could never maintain any level of bombardment upon her fellow housemates compared to her predecessor

We now have version three in place - Bexie Pollard the least intelligent of the three who has got her baps out at every opportunity and seen this as her greatest achievement...Hmmmm.

Bex is incredibly simplistic, immature and see's everything as black and white. 'Bex's world' is where we all have fun on her terms. She has a fantastic time but you may not always enjoy yourself. Yesterday she smothered Mo with sun cream and then later defaced the belt she made for his birthday. I'm left asking myself are all females from Coventry like this because if so it is best to avoid that part of the country. OK I know she's young but come on! Is this entertainment?

We all know why Rebecca is acting in this way. She has seen Sylvia go and is thinking about her own place in the house, what has she got to do to stay and how she has to play her own game. It is better to be a Charley (Bex is NO CHARLEY mind you) than be boring.

She's a naughty minx who thinks she is attempting to keep the house interesting, never the less, I'm not so sure if what she is doing is working? I was hoping that Bex's role within the house would develop and only last Friday I was saying she was growing on me; my feelings have changed - I CAN'T STAND HER!

She is irritating, frustrating, annoying and a pain in the proverbial. This 'fun house' means Bex being stupid and acting like a four year old. However all I have seen so far is a spoilt wannabe sitting groaning and moaning, "I want to live in a fun house" - Who is she moaning with? Jennifer! They sit and whinge while the other HMs get on and enjoy themselves.

The Coventry lass is now shit hot favourite to go this week and I would not be at all surprised. I am in two minds whether I want her to be out as I find her games with Luke funny to watch and she's already driving him insane. - Let's watch him become the 'real Luke' because he is always saying that everyone else is not themselves yet Luke is a duplicate version of himself without all the faculties.

Could Bex be released on Friday? If she behaves like an idiot all week I may well switch off. There is still time for her to ensure her fun is good fun and potentially she could make the brilliant housemate I thought she was turning into. We do not all want stupidity which only a small child will enjoy and that is my problem with her. - Remember Rebecca, Big Brother is an adult show, Alex told us that......

Bex And Her Make-up

I'm watching tonight's show (Wednesday) and Lisa was given the job of make up for the task which the group passed! (And Tangio went on and on about health and safety for at least three hours). But I digress, was Rebecca hard done by on this task and did the satsuma blob give the job to his missus over her?

I'm glad to see that boring idiot Luke (who I used to love) has realised his mate resembles Vickie Pollard. Jen may have left ONE child at home while Bex Pollard has probably left SIX (allegedly). On this task though should she have been given the make-up role? She loves her own daily routine so why not? See the evidence and why not tell me what you think? Go on I'm writing away and getting hundreds of readers but no comments. You don't know how frustrating that is!

Tuesday 10/6 Highlights and Lowlights

Bored with Mario/Lisa/Steph/Alex so it is nice to talk about the others for a change but I have to warn you I do HAVE to talk about Alex, Lisa and Mario a little……

Talked of Chip-gate in an earlier entry so that’s covered but Alex had another row with Mo which will be covered probably in Wednesday’s show. The poor soul (Mo)nabbed a ciggy and according to Alexandra this is theft and he should have his knackers chopped off. She did not say that - implied it and we know she is capable of looking at a man and removing his balls! Will not happen with Mo because Alex fancies him. Sexual frustration is causing her anger to rage and she does not know what to do with herself.

Mario and Lisa were called into the diary room for a champagne, strawberries, chocolate and cream fiesta to celebrate Mario's 43rd birthday. The look on Steph’s face when they left the haven of BB's womb, was a picture. She sat there sulking looking like my 15 year old when I have told her no she can’t have her allowance early;(or not at all) – Totally immature that girl (Steph not my daughter. Mario and Lisa who will now be called the cringing gruesome twosome after the embarrassing display which left me feeling like; “Urgh that’s like MY parents fumbling with each other” – And mine are dead. Lisa pranced around to ‘The Eye of the Tiger’ and Mario watched her cavorting, after all it was his birthday treat. These two know how to play the reality game incredibly well.

I feel I must say a quick mention to chip-gate as Alex compared them with “f*cking herself”. I have never compared the two or tried it with a chip and do not have the urge to but thanks for the tip Alex.

Sylvia, Dennis and Dale have become Alex’s little followers, or were on Monday night. Dale-Nice-But-Dim had nothing much to say but let's be honest he is there to look at and not for stimulating conversation. It is like the lights are on with no one at home and therefore he makes a great follower for a dictator. Looks sweet in Jen's hat here. Wonder how long it will be before he makes a move on her? Probably have to ask permission from Alex first.

The argument over chip-gate was a remarkable piece of control by Alex. Yes she bitched and yes she bullied a little to get her point across but she held court and she has complete control over every person there. Alex even told Rex “You are doing the cooking whether he wants to do it or not”. She told Rebecca that they were having a "conversation" but told her if she did not like what she had to say then “See ya”. In other words Alex’s word is gospel and she is the boss of that house and has taken discrete control from under everyone's feet.

Stephanie stood up to Alex which I was impressed with and up until I saw this I had decided I would like to see her go on Friday. I have now changed my mind…..Bye bye Mario especially after watching the live feed at 0103am Wednesday morning. More on that in another post.

Big Brother stepped in before Alex went to bed and slapped her hand; “BB takes unacceptable behaviour in the house ex seriously". Alex is completely aware of what, “Bullying aggressive, intimidating or demeaning behaviour" is and considers her behaviour towards Steph, Rebecca and Rachel was acceptable. BB went on to remind her that; “Of course conflicts may arise” and she must, “take responsibility for boundaries.” Can’t see that happening. Alex may be clever, never the less, she is unable to see her own behaviour and how it affects others around her.

My issue is why can’t the housemates deal with her themselves? The reason we know is that the housemates have been selected deliberately NOT to cope and is this right and proper because we the public, are generally enjoying it. The housemates are either weak or non committal and have much to learn about themselves over the summer. This is why I watch BB. I love the psychology of it all – I don’t think the HMs are too keen on the ‘disputes’ when Alex opens her gob.

Most the housemates are beginning to show their true selves. Kat is a bubbly personality; Luke is fabulous and very clever; Mikey is thoughtful and sensitive; Darnell is strikes me as sly, devious and bit of a male bitch. Why come on a show if you've never watched it? Story does not add up; Mario knows how to play the game; Lisa is savvy but there's a sensitive side; Sylvia is confused, Dale does not think because you need a brain for that; Steph has now found her brain and is feisty and finding true self; Dennis is a pillock and a follower, Nothing more to say; Jen is a fairly intelligent wannabee, sees this as her chance to gain fame; Rachel is driven. She may have a quiet demeanor however, her acting skills could be used to give her a greater advantage over other HMs and I think they have been and will be; Mo is quiet the only one I have not worked out; Alex is a control freak; Rex is well educated and at the moment sitting back and biding his time. There is a lot more to come with him; Rebecca - nearly forgot her, she's an enigma to me too. Possibly a nice girl and that is it, there are such people after all?

Out Of The Frying Pan And Into The Chip Fryer

Last night was fight night in the BB house and rude Alex joined in, opened her mouth and spoke fluent foulness!

Sylvia joined in with the argument which was over Rebecca's chips and the quality of her cooking. Yes chip cooking can be terribly important and now we all know that if you get it wrong and it can cause demented rows with argumentative gobsh*tes.

The issue arose when Rebecca screwed up and then went on to defend herself: "Is it agreed to let Rex cook the actual meals then? I'm happy to step out, but I didn't wanna like, not do anything and then have people saying, 'Ooh, you haven't been helping".

"Who cares what people are gonna say?" Alex retorted.

"I do really apologise for cooking the chips wrong," Rebecca pleaded to the group now mostly deafened by Alex's shouting.

Rachel stepped into to console Rebecca at this point "Don't apologise, Bex, you tried. It wasn't very good, fair enough, but you tried!" (Must have been bloody awful chips then and I think we should have a national debate on the subject)

"I didn't mean to do it," Rebecca again pleaded. "I didn't purposely mean to ruin the chips." (This is ONLY about chips or is it?)

Sylvia then mocked Rebecca stating: "No one's gonna say, 'Oh, you're not helping'. If you wanna clean, clean 'cause you wanna clean, don't clean 'cause you think, 'Oh, I'm gonna clean, they're gonna like me'. Bull****'! That sort of thing just gets on my ****."

Rebecca still tried to defend her goodly deed but Alex was having none of it: "I can cook, but why am I bothering to waste everyone else's time with my simple efforts? It's not a case of trying - I'm not gonna try and do something that I know for a fact that I can't do. We're in a situation where it affects everybody else."

"I was doing it because I wanted to help, I wasn't doing it because people would like me." - Rebecca you poor soul you are arguing with the wrong women! These two do not give a damn.

"Bulls***, bulls***!" Sylvia blurted (See told you Bex)

"She tried!" Said Rachel supporting her friend - You can tell Rachel is training to be a teacher. She will be handing out stickers and putting up star charts around the house before the summer is out. Everything about her says. 'nervous breakdown by 35'. (Only saying this because I know so many teachers and feel I can!)

Our last words go to none other than Alex: "Excuse me! Getting up and trying to play the martyr, trying to defend anyone, you might as well just sit back babes. That kind of ****'s not gonna wash round me."

Ooooooh, sounds to me like Sylvia decided she was going to be the new Charley before she went into the house but Alex wants that crown more. Let's see them fight it out and hope that the public allow them to stay longer than three weeks as this will be a real humdinger if they do.

Wedding Over - Oh thank the lord

Sorry for the lack of blog entries today but my life is so exciting. I knew of course it was the first UK BB wedding and so instead I booked myself into the emergency wart removal clinic at the local hospital. I had a strong suspicion that having warts frozen would be much more enjoyable - And I was right.

But I suppose I ought to talk about the scam that never was. Even the bans were seen as fake by big gob Alex when actually the wording was in that case correct. And oh that Alex is going to hack everyone off isn't she? FABULOUS!

So the wedding - I think it is fair to say that none of the housemates believed this to be a real wedding and even Mikey saw through the charade. (Sorry about the pun, I couldn't resit). Personally I think Mario and Luke made a better couple and Luke would had made a much better bitch to Mario's stud don't you think? You only had to watch Luke and Mario on last night's show to see the sexual chemistry between them.

The BB Wedding

Stephanie wore 'a crisp, white gown' while Mario sported the normal wedding attire of a tux and a dark blue waistcoat. The bridesmaids were chosen yesterday by Steph and if she had any sense, which we now all realise she does not, she would have chosen Alex as one of her attendants. Unfortunately she chose Lisa, Kat (without the gold platform boots thankfully), Rebecca and Rachel, which left Alex resentful and still taking this matter personally. Mario had said he did not want her or others to attend who kept demeaning the validity of the wedding stating; "curt, rebellious, obnoxious people" were not welcome. So there is some anger in the man then and a hypocrisy.

"We are gathered here today," declared minister, "to witness the union of Shaun (Mario's less glamorous name) and Jonathon.....(Nah, I joke now her real name is) Stephanie."
"A good marriage must be created and nurtured. If there is any person here who knows of any lawful impediment against this marriage, they should declare it now."

And this was Alexandra chance to stamp her mark.
"I think we all know how I feel," she exclaimed. "I contest. I feel this is a sham. It's been given to us in a task format. I don't this it is a strong enough bond. It's a sham."

Well she has a point doesn't she? Although I do not like the way Alex has been interrogating Steph, I think she deserves it but I think what Alex did to Mikey was below the belt. My bigger concern is what Channel 4 is making Alex into. They need a baddie and they have found a great character for their show.

The fab news for the happy non couple is that the minister shut Alex up pretty quick and declared Steph and Mario ....ooooops I mean Shaun, husband and wife.

How has this task panned out for BB? Not very well in my opinion. The housemates were onto it from the very beginning and know that something happens right at the start so WHY oh why pull a stunt then? The other point is why use Lisa and Mario who have appeared on TV many times. I wonder if the other contestants had seen them on TV and subconsciously then felt uneasy about Mario from there on. Stephanie is just a silly little girl and no real harm to anyone - Who may be out on Friday?

Favourite quote from last night's show comes from Luke in the Diary Room

Luke: "Oh and Becky has asked for some masking tape"

BB: "What does she want it for?"

Luke: "Don't know? Maybe its to put over her mouth"

I've got plenty of masking tape available if BB hasn't!

The Arrival Of The Fittest

Welcome to this blog which will only be here for the duration of Big Brother. My love of BB has been all encompassing ever since Craig told nasty Nick "Your not my mum"; no wrong show - Ah those days when BB was great because we did not know what to expect. But now we have an expectation each year and we want to be entertained.

Looking at some of the cast members its looking promising however others are dubious. Who cares though when the females have finally been given some good looking male totty and the males have been also catered for. But NO this is not good enough, I do not want to drool at the screen all summer, I want drama, friction, fighting and laughter too.

First to enter the big white door this year were Mario and Lisa.

Mario Marconi or Shaun Astbury as was, 42 has already become daddy to the house and has split with Lisa....more on that later if you do not know already. Mario looks like a fatter version of Joey from Friends on a bad day with the wind in the wrong direction and wearing poor glasses. Can't say he floats my boat.

Lisa Appleton, 40, and Mario's partner has been aesthetically enhanced all thanks to Mario. Big Brother played a sneaky trick on the couple and have told then that to win immunity from eviction this week, Mario and Lisa have to stop being a couple and more to tell when contestant no. four arrives. Trouble ahead with this as Lisa looks like no woman to be messed with.

Luke Marsden who truly looks like a 12-year-old in his dad's suit! Luke is a politics student who does not drink or smoke or fart probably. His voice is whiny and irritating and hopefully Luke and his suits (C&A specials) will be out quickly as I do not see much potential there.

Stephanie McMichael 19, arrived next and although she claims to be intelligent I would say that she is really thick and manipulative. Thanks to BB's trickery, Steph is now Mario's partner and only Luke knows this. The four need to keep this secret all week and if they can pull this off then they will be safe from eviction while all the other housemates will be up for the vote. What they do not realise is that Mario and Stephanie will be getting married on SUNDAY! AHA such fun.

Rachel Rice the 24-year-old trainee teacher (I think?) was next to arrive. She's bubbly, talkative, annoying and if you have a primary aged child then you will have met a teacher whose exactly like her. If she can manage a bunch of crazed eight-year-olds she should fit in well with the weirdos they mix her with.

Dale Howard, a good looking 21-year-old and he knows it I don't actually care because I fancy his body and I will pass on the personality How far will Dale go? And I'm talking in the show not in a sexual sense! (ooooh) Dale will be there right till the end, as long as he keeps his more sordid comments to his self.

BOOOOO! Sylvia Barrie a 21-year-old student, originally from Sierra Leone arrived to taunts from the crowd who have decided they hate her from her "girls don't seem to like me" comments. If she's to be believed then will cause friction but we shall have to wait and see.

Oh Dennis McHugh who's a 23 and a dance student arrived with a demented dance, a dodgy hat and an ego the size of the milky way. An interesting character but also aggravating (I shall have to think of the many different variations of the word irritating for this lot) I think I like Dennis if only he did not have that voice. Do you think he could swap it half way through with one of the other housemates?

Michael 'Mikey' Hughes, 33 is a cross dressing 6 footer who loves being the centre of attention. He's blind and does not let this hold him back and I have mixed feelings about someone with a disability like this on BB. Did Pete win because his disability gave him the sympathy vote and will the same thing happen to Mickey because some of the forums have a lot of "Ah poor Mickey/Michael" and he doesn't need that. He seems to have coped all of his life without the world feeling sorry for him without strangers starting now

Alexandra De-Gale 23, was a mother at 15 and owned a BMW at 21 but for some reason has already been labeled and I don't like that. Is it jealousy? Probably. She does love herself this is true but then again why not be confident? The crowd hated her and she was booed even more than Sylvia. Luke had a few boos to be honest but poor Alexandra had to suffer the "OUT" chants? She admitted she was a strong personality which is what we want on the show. Do we want to be entertained people? YES. If the public vote out the best characters early this year I will go spare.

Rex Newmark, 24, bit posh executive chef who got himself expelled from nine schools and has a very very pointy head! he will come in very useful and today he cooked soup for a late lunch and supper at midnight. No, not midnight, its going to be at seven apparently but there was a huge discussion over it which involved Mario and Steph this afternoon and nearly caused their first row. Rex comes across as mean and moody? That is my opinion but why are you reading this if you did not want to know it.

The hair, I mean Mohamed Mohamed 23, He could come in very useful if not enough tokens are earned as tip him upside down and he could be a mop. Oh the hilarity.....oh but seriously, I like this guy and his mad hair and 1970's sideburns. Half expect him to wear a fluorescent flared green suit tomorrow. Should last some time.

Rebecca 'Becca or Becs' Shiner Nursery nurse 21, was up next and lives by the philosophy of Tigger; "Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce". The girl constantly lept up and down as if her life depended on it and being curvaceous, everything bounced everywhere too. Ahh I know that feeling well. Not bothered one way or the other with her to be honest and think she will be one of those who will be out pretty quick unless she wears one of those leopard skin dressing gowns of course.........

Darnell Swallow 26, Born in Ipswich, moved to America and for some reason came back over here again. Must have been for the weather? Darnell is certainly a character that us for sure. He does not take him self seriously or so he says. Darnell has a medical condition called Albinoism which leaves him with less melanin in his skin, hair and eyes leaving his hair white and skin much paler. It is being portrayed as a disability by others because of the comments that are being left and the prejudice against this man AND oppositely, those people smothering him with inappropriate comments. Darnell has learned to live with this.
Come on people forget the medical condition, he has! Darnell appears to be a fun bloke and I hope he does well for who he is not what he has and how people see it.

Jennifer Clark is a 21-year-old mother, which brings the young mum total to two now. Pretty lady with some odd views however as she is yet another gorgeous bird she should last a fair well. Don't have anything good or bad I can say about her because I just don't get her? Think she's just a pretty face.

Kathreya 'Kat' Kasisopa, 30, not being funny here and I know I mentioned that leopard skin dressing gown earlier but you've got to admit that Kat looks like a Taiwanese version of the Welsh Sloth from last year. Everyone is raving about Kat, I'm holding fire and will wait and see as again I am not sure which way she will go. Could be a great bet if she will be the crazed cookie monster for the whole summer or a nightmare if she starts wearing a dressing gown with those gold platform boots.

So there we have it, our cast is all ready and waiting, time for a good summer or else YOU'RE FIRED!